Monthly Archives: September 2011

Me < Perfect


you seriously have no flaw in my head

My friend told me that when we were chatting a few days ago. At first, I couldn’t help but get pleased. It was a complement, of course. Then again, I can’t help but shrug it off. Because, really, I am far from that. I have a lot of flaws that I don’t even know where to begin.

Maybe I’m just good at hiding them. I dunno. (uncertainty, that’s one)

I don’t think I’m ever sure of myself. I’m insecure. I find it really to say “no” and say what I really think, afraid that people might get angry at me. I’m too impulsive and worry a lot sometimes. I could go on and on, really.

Currently, I’m in the process of figuring things out, testing waters, and seeing how things will go. Honestly, I don’t know when the time will come when the doubts clouding my mind will disappear. Hopefully, when that time comes, I’ll be more open, less guarded.

Until then, I shall stay here behind these walls that I have built for myself, trying to make myself feel protected even when it’s making me even more vulnerable,  I think.


Poem for Nanay


I saw this after a long time (1st Published on 05-22-08). I made this after my cousin asked us to write something for Nanay when she died. This was read during the intern we had for her.

Lola, grandma, impo – many words you can call your parent’s mother but to us, she is simply Nanay.

Loving wife, sister and a mother –

Those words are not enough to describe how great & wonderful Nanay is.

Although death has taken her away physically,

We all know that her spirit still lives on.

We hope that through her legacy,

She will be remembered until the of time.

Pancit, homba, torta & sabaw na isda –

Those are just a few inside Nanay’s cookbook.

Made with a loving heart & motherly care,

Their taste is as sweet & delicious as her love for us.

No day or night is too early or too late

For she never fails to clean the house & keep it in tip – top shape.

She showers us with love & care

That no other can give.

It seemed like yesterday

When we spent Christmas together,

Sharing laughter & joys,

Not knowing it was to be the last.

Now that it’s time to say goodbye,

Don’t you worry and cry.

For we all know that she’s happy wherever she is,

Along with our Heavenly Father & Tita Penny.

Sorry for the times we made you cry.

Please know that it was done unintentionally.

Sorry for the times we fail to show you how important you are to us.

Please know that you are loved dearly.

Someday, I Will


Break down these walls

For you.

If that doesn’t work,

I’ll give you the keys

And open the door to let you in.

When that happens,

I will welcome you in a warm

Embrace, the sun shining on our faces

While the birds sing their songs,

Waiting since forever to do

That performance.


We will have bike rides at the park,

But you will have to teach me first.

I will give you my trust

That you won’t ever let me fall.


We will watch movies together,

Laugh at all the silly scenes and

Drink our sodas as loud as we can,

Becoming nervous and shy,

As the lovers confess their love

For each other.


You will take care of me whenever

I’m sick, bringing me breakfast in bed.

You will sing me songs, even if

Your voice doesn’t seem to recognize Tone

But hearing the warmth,

And sincerity in it would then make it

The best sound I’ve ever heard, along with

Those times when you say my name.

And when you laugh.


We will watch the sunset together

And as we revel at how marvelous

The orange sky is, we will wonder

How we found each other and how

We plan to be together.


But until someone would come

To scale these walls or go find the key,

Like a needle in the haystack, I will stay

In my safe place, wondering what

Or who Love is, the one people

Write about. I will be here, unscathed

But not perfectly whole.

These Days


There are days when I’m sure of myself. Confident in my skills, of my capabilities.

However, there are also those days when I’m not completely sure of what I’m doing, why I’m doing them. They happen more often than those happy days. I question almost everything about myself, and doubt creeps in, like how (I think) they’ve always wanted to do this entire time, filling me with this void where that certainty had been a few days ago.

It is a constant battle and I don’t know if I’ll win every time.



Today is a happy day! 😀 haha

Finally got my Pottermore account, went through the different chapters, and bought my wand!


Larch with Unicorn core, Ten Inches, Rigid

Here’s what they mean, according to the site:


Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard.

Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may ‘die’ and need replacing.



Most wands will be in the range of between nine and fourteen inches.

Mine’s ten inches. 🙂

While I have sold extremely short wands (eight inches and under) and very long wands (over fifteen inches), these are exceptionally rare. In the latter case, a physical peculiarity demanded the excessive wand length.



Wand flexibility or rigidity denotes the degree of adaptability and willingness to change possessed by the wand-and-owner pair – although, again, this factor ought not to be considered separately from the wand wood, core and length, nor of the owner’s life experience and style of magic, all of which will combine to make the wand in question unique.



Strong, durable and warm in colour, larch has long been valued as an attractive and powerful wand wood. Its reputation for instilling courage and confidence in the user has ensured that demand has always outstripped supply. This much sought-after wand is, however, hard to please in the matter of ideal owners, and trickier to handle than many imagine. I find that it always creates wands of hidden talents and unexpected effects, which likewise describes the master who deserves it. It is often the case that the witch or wizard who belongs to the larch wand may never realise the full extent of their considerable talents until paired with it, but that they will then make an exceptional match.


I love it. I think most of the descriptions fit me. The notes (when you find it there) just show how Harry Potter was intricately planned and how JK Rowling really planned every detail of it. 😉