I hope you know how much trouble and pain you have caused over the past few years. What’s funny there is that, you also made me happy and giddy at the same time. (I think you’re the only one who’s able to make me feel that) I guess the coward spirit in me took the best of me that’s why I tried to hide from you, shun you even, from my world. I thought that, without you in my life, things would be better. No more uncertainties, pathetic moments of wishing, wanting for him to look at me the same way that I look at him. I thought I’d be bulletproof by then.
But, apparently, I was wrong.
Now, you’re beginning to show your familiar presence again. (Or is it you? Or is it your friends, Lust or Infatuation?) It’s crazy how I realized that life wasn’t better without you. On the contrary, it was boring. Actually, I miss being giddy and excited when I wake up, excited to see his eyes, to be in his presence, to hear his voice utter my name (or his laugh, even). Now, I don’t know you anymore.
It’s been too long, isn’t it? Maybe we should go out for coffee some time and catch up. I’ve been looking for you, you know. I’m afraid I might never know or recognize you again by the time you come to me.