(Wo)man up

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“What’s wrong?”

Me.

I guess I’m not as strong or as determined as I seem or think myself to be. Now I’m thinking of giving up just because something might not go according to plan. Only cowards think of stopping without even starting. And I guess that’s what I am.

But see, that’s the problem. I can’t seem to shake off this fear of things not going according to plan which is why I’m afraid of taking risks. Probably why I’m better off as a programmer than a financial analyst.

Thank you, though, for encouraging me to fight, to not five up and see if there’s still a chance. You told me that when we played Monopoly Deal, when I was about to give my turn up because I thought I didn’t have a chance to win (at least during that turn) but you pushed me to still do a turn. I wonder if that’s applicable in other areas. But that’s just my delusional mind thinking…


Fear, I will learn to conquer you eventually.

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