Monthly Archives: May 2012

Senior Year

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Who’d have thought that I’d be here? Well, maybe it’s not that big of a deal since it’s how things naturally go but wow, I survived three years of college. It still amazes me how things turn out in the end. At least, partially.

Now, I’m an MIS student and, as much as how I hate to say it, will be extending a year to complete all the subjects needed for my new major. It’s alright, though. I’m more contented, more at peace now. I finally have an idea on what to do with my life, what to do after I graduate college. It’s just sad how I won’t be receiving my diploma with my (original) batchmates.

Also, I’m this year’s VP Advocacy for SPEED or the Ateneo Special Education Society. I know I’ve been heading projects twice a year but the thought of being an officer, of being someone in a position who had that much responsibility kind of scared me. I still am, actually. Yet, I’m excited for this year. I can’t wait to meet with the different project heads and plan for the different events. I can’t wait to work with my fellow officers and see what we can do. As we always say, it’s all for the kids.

As what my friend told me, a lot of things can happen in a year. Maybe, I’ll do well in my subjects. Maybe, I won’t. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll meet someone who will make me feel special. I dunno. Who knows? All I’m saying is that, I’m ready for this roller coaster ride.

Bring it on.

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Dark Glasses

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An excerpt from Roland Barthes’ A Lover’s Discourse

…Yet to hide a passion totally (or even to hide, more simply, its excess) is inconceivable: not because the human subject is too weak, but because passion is in essence made to be seen: the hiding must be seen: I want you to know that I am hiding something from you, that is the active paradox I must resolve: at one and the same time it must be known and not known: I want you to know that I don’t want to show my feelings: that is the message I address to the other. Larvatus prodeo: I advance pointing to my mask: I set a mask upon my passion, but with a discreet (and wily) finger I designate this mask. Every passion, ultimately, has its spectator: at the moment of his death, Captain Paz cannot keep from writing to the woman he has loved in silence: no amorous oblation without a final theater: the sign is always victorious.

 

-An Excerpt from Roland Barthes’ A Lover’s Discourse

Isn’t it funny how you read on pages of a book the things you’ve been feeling or thinking for the longest time? I’ll always be fascinated by it. Also, please know that this has always been my personal struggle. I am no expert in Love and so, have always wondered about this. I’m just glad this book is giving me the answers, or at least, as it said at the start of the book, a set of ideas, things to ponder upon.

An attempt at a metaphor

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I wonder what becomes of the tree after it is cut down. Will the bird—the bird that used to perch on its branches, nesting itself under the shade of its leaves—remember it? Will it notice that that certain tree is no longer found in that spot? Something’s missing. Or will it move on to a different tree because, let’s face it, it just needs some place to rest. Maybe, they’re all the same.


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