I’m just tired of waiting. Not just waiting for a friend to arrive in the coffee house where we agreed to meet (she never did) nor waiting for a boring class to end just so you could go to your appointment (which happens to have been cancelled without you knowing about it beforehand). Just waiting, in general.
I think I’ve subjected myself to this game for a long time and it’s just tiring to never see the end of it, to still not hear that long, thundering buzzer sound off, followed by someone, “Game over!”
It would be nice to not have my hopes up and expect from people to keep their word and then get disappointed in the end. I hate it; not keeping one’s word is probably number one on my list of pet peeves. But I’m digressing.
The economy of give and take is supposed to be exercised and executed fairly, with both parties doing their part. We talk about that, although I’m not quite sure whether we take it seriously. We’re supposed to give as much as we take. But I don’t think that’s what’s happening. I know it’s just a tiny concern, a request, but I just hope you learn to keep your word. When you say you will show up, please do. If you won’t (or at least if you’re iffy about it), tell me in advance so I won’t go around waiting for you, and rejecting people from taking that lone empty table.
Anger is such a weird feeling. I now realize how important it is to not bottle up one’s feelings. By the time it snowballs, you’re in danger of exploding, disintegrating.
But please, let me be angry sometimes.