Monthly Archives: February 2013

Throwback Thursday


The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 2 years, 4 months and 17 days ago, on October 11, 2010. It is being delivered from the past through

Dear FutureMe,

Hi there! This is 17-turning-18-in-13-days-year-old Trishia. Isn’t this great, your past self sending you a letter to you? No, this ain’t sci-fi. It’s just good stuff found on the net (and shared by MicaSol), I guess.

How have you been these past few years? Are you doing well? I just came back from studying for the Ma21 finals at Starbucks. And me writing this means that I’m procrastinating studying for Accounting20. No, I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty. I just did so I can tell you how excited I am to meet you and go through the things that you did. (At this point, things about ‘The Time Traveller’s Wife come flashing in my mind).

I just had my Ma124 finals this afternoon. I didn’t do well. I did bad. Seeing my blockmates talk about their answers made me feel sad and sorry for myself cuz I had no idea what they were talking about. Derangements? Why didn’t I use that?

Anyway, things have been tough for me lately. I don’t feel like I’m not myself. I haven’t been myself these past few months. School’s been getting me down. Add in the “usual” emo-teenage-syndrome or whatever you call that. But, while you are reading this, I hope things have improved a lot for you. You’re about to graduate in a month, right? So, yay to you for making it this far. You’re graduating from the Ateneo, your dream university, right?

I hope that as the years passed, you were able to learn from your mistakes. You didn’t let them get you down, right? Even if there are nights, days, hours when they do get you. But you didn’t let them get you for that long, right? Just remember that… things will get better, as cynical as you may be. Things happen for a reason. Enjoy the moment. Don’t worry too much.

I guess that’s the problem with me. I worry too much that’s why things slip by without me even noticing them. And be patient, okay? Even if you failed at something, just keep on trying and trying and trying. Remember that time when you ran for school council 3-4 times and didn’t win? BUT when you ran again for the last time, you finally made it and was Secretary during your last year in high school. So there you go. Don’t give up.

Also, remember that you are beautiful. You are smart. You are talented. I guess, another problem with me is that I didn’t believe in myself that much. I had lots of insecurities. Gaah. Just remember that even with your imperfections, even if you’re not as pretty or as talented or as smart as the others, know that you are pretty and talented and smart in your own, little way. 😉

So there. I don’t think this made that much sense nor do I think that this is as meaningful or that great to receive a literary award but I hope that you realize that I wrote it because I’d like you to be a better me in the future. A lot of things can happen in three years so I hope, may they be good or bad, you’ll be happy and better and be more filled with “wisdom.”

And remember that this girl, who’s turning 18 in a few days but still haven’t finalized everything yet, was always anticipating to meet you. And that she will always have your back, no matter what happens. You’ve got your friends and blockmates and your family, too. It doesn’t hurt to show that you’re weak and sad, okay? It’s okay to lean on others, too. You don’t have to be Atlas and carry the whole world on your shoulders. Let me tell you, it’s a very tough job, carrying all that baggage while making it seem like your world’s all rainbows and butterflies. I should know.

So, there. Good luck! I hope by this time, you already have your passport. Haha. We shall set foot in London or Paris or Korea, m’kay? 😀

P.S. What course are you graduating from? Do you have “someone” already? 😉

It’s funny how time flies. I went through a lot–disappointments, successes, heartaches, and everything else in between. Yet, I’m VERY glad to say that I’m still here. Still surviving and trying to understand life. I gotta say, my PastMe almost got everything right. When I wrote this, I remember I was really sad and disappointed. Now, I feel like I’m more contented, stronger, happier. So yay to us! 🙂

P.S. No, PastMe, I still don’t have one. The fortune teller says I will in two years. Maybe I should write another letter?



I have a problem.

I can’t really connect with people. Or maybe this is just me. It’s like a song, a piano piece, in decrescendo. It starts out really well then, gradually, I find myself drifting, away from people, back to my own little world.

Nakakagat lamang.

I’m there, I experience things but I don’t really Experience anything. Almost everything’s shallow. I can remember significant moments but I mostly just remember the details, not the overwhelming feeling I had when it happened. I touch on a certain topic, brush past it, and never really explain it in detail.

Just like this.