Monthly Archives: May 2013

7 Things We Shouldn’t Be Ashamed Of Anymore

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Everything applies to me. 😮

Thought Catalog

1. How much debt we have.

Plot twist: All of your friends, no matter what they might be earning, are all counting their money in negative dollars. At best, they’re just like, “Hey, look at how much closer to zero I’m getting every day!” Many of us don’t even have hopes of being on the positive side of the equation until we’re in our mid-forties, and it’s just a reality you live with. Misguided, useless, egregious debt is just something that we have to keep as a baseline of how we view ourselves and our financial futures. It’s not something to scoot under the rug because we imagine that everyone around us was savvy enough to escape from higher education with a little nest egg stored away to start some incredibly put-together adult life. We have debt, it’s okay, no one is judging you for it. (Except for jowly white…

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Awkward hugs and reading subtexts

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The day I received the news that I would be graduating First Honorable Mention instead of Valedictorian, as most people expected me to be, the first thing that came to mind was, “How in the world am I going to tell my parents?” I know I may have been overthinking that time but I dreaded having to see my mom during lunch time. I expected her to get angry at me, scold me, and tell me how disappointed she was for what I had not achieved. So come lunch and with the egging of my friends (I had them come with me for support), I told her the news. I was already bracing for the worst when she calmly said, “Ingana gyud na. Maayo gihapon.” (That’s how it is. That’s still good.) I could not believe my ears. Then, we went out to eat.

You see, my mom’s not all that bad. In fact, she’s been everything but. All this time, she’s been supportive of me and the things I do and have achieved. She’s always been there for us, preparing our school stuff, and being that father figure my brother and I sometimes long for whenever our dad is away from home because of work. Then again, I sometimes wish our relationship would be more than just casual conversations. I imagined myself talking to her about that cute guy who happened to pass by the hallway or how there’s this girl who’s a total snob.

Then again, when I think about it, I think I’m okay with what I have. I guess there’s a certain and subtle understanding whenever we tell each other “okay” or “God bless” as you can see if you’ll check our SMS conversations. I guess I’ve learned that you don’t really have to show you care for someone in an obvious, the-whole-world-can-see-it kind of way. You show it through the things you do; you make them feel it.

 

Meh, thank you very much for everything. It’s funny crazy how we grew closer now that I’m living in the dorm. Thank you for always looking out for us, for putting Adrianne and me ahead of you and your happiness, for all the sacrifices that you made for us. I know for a fact you made a big one when you decided to have me and I hope you’re happy with that decision. Thank you for always filling in daddy’s shoes whenever he’s away and for being a good wife to him, making us understand why he’s where he is most of the time. I’m sorry for the times I failed and/or disappointed you, for the times when I thought you didn’t care. I was being rebellious, pretty stupid, really.

The way I see it, you’ve raised us well. Adrianne turned out to be a good guy, fun-loving yet still respectful and responsible. As for me, I’m going to graduate and show you and daddy how all your hardwork was all worth it. I’ll help you out once I get a job. We’ll go to different places–Hong Kong, Korea, Paris, you name it–and I’ll shower you with the love you deserve.

So there. Happy mother’s day! 🙂

On choosing the stairs over the escalator

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I wish I could have a more meaningful reason why I like taking the stairs instead of the escalator. “I got into an accident when I was a kid. I got stuck on one of the steps.” Trauma or an accident would’ve sufficed. But no, It’s not that. I guess I just like walking. I tell myself it’s good exercise. Yes, it’s true but more than that, there’s something exhilarating about walking, about getting to drag my feet, one after the other. That feeling of movement which eventually turns into a certain kind of calmness, of stability. When I walk, I get to clear my mind. Although I do get to think of the most random stuff, the noise in my head lowers down to a hush. When I move, I feel like I am one with the world.