Right when you think things are going fine, you arrive at this part of the road again. You’re in a limbo, caught between this push and pull–whether you have to keep fighting for it or not.
I think I came into this knowing you liked her yet it wasn’t until last night when I finally got a semblance of a confirmation. When I heard about it, my defenses all went up, leaving me feeling numb to all the sensations, those that hurt, right at the same time my heart began to form cracks. I didn’t want to believe it, of course, but it was the truth.
Even with this, I can’t help but still hold on. Stupid, yes, it may be but I have a feeling there’s something worth holding on to. Call it stubbornness or what have you, but I guess I’m sticking to that decision. I’ve been in this situation before. It didn’t end up well but still, I’m a masochist in a way. I like getting in a good fight, getting all battered and bruised. It makes me feel like I gave all my best. It makes me feel alive.
All I’m holding on to now are assumptions, maybe-misinterpreted actions from people around us. Also, I’m holding on to the fact that yours is a love that may not be returned. I know it is selfish for me to hope for her to try and stay with him but I can’t help it.
I can’t help but hope that you’ll let me in. Let me shower you with the love you deserve to have. We’ll sing more songs, tell more stories about each other, and enjoy the things we both enjoy. I’d like to think we could happen. I just hope you see it, too.
P.S. I think this song pretty much sums things up.