Category Archives: School

Five is just a number

Standard

First Year

Rec Week, Freshman year. For a freshie to see all these orgs can be quite overwhelming especially when there are a lot of interesting ones. I’ve already joined AMS, my home org, and I think I can still join a few more. Instead of signing up alone for this other org, I decide to join my block mate in SPEED because at least I know one person there. It seemed interesting, anyway.

***

It was a Saturday and we were supposed to have our culminating activity in SOC to end the sem. Sadly, I woke up at around 10 and missed our 8am-call time. I tried calling our area head, Carlos, and said sorry a lot of times. I was really looking forward to it and would’ve wanted to spend time with the kids but I guess I could never win a fight against sleep.

I guess one of the reasons why I couldn’t wake up that time was the weather. Ever since I woke up, it was raining and it just got worse as the day went on. Eventually, all the Saturday classes got cancelled, warnings were given, and the waters kept rising. That was the day Typhoon Ondoy hit.

I later found out that they were in SOC for more than 5 hours; they got home at around 10pm because of the rain and therefore couldn’t really leave the area. They played cards and tried to assure each other and the kids that it will be alright. I’m not sure if missing the last area visit was a good thing or a bad thing.

Second Year

It goes without saying that Sophomore year was my lowest year; things just kept going from bad to worse. Yet, I’m glad how SPEED kept me afloat and gave me enough motivation to still swim. Instead of worrying about Accounting, I had long forms and program flows to settle as part of being SpFiesta’s co-project head, along with Steph. I know acads should’ve been the first priority but doing things for the org was what kept me going, enough to at least give me a reason to look forward to another day. At least I was waking up for something and for someone.

Finally, it was time for SpFiesta. All the kids and volunteers were all very happy from playing all the games we prepared, watching the performances, and just by spending time with each other. In the end, the project turned out to be a big success. I can’t say the same about my grades, though. Still.

Third Year

It’s already my third year in SPEED and I still haven’t been to one EvSem. I’ve been invited to attend one a lot of times but kept missing it since I always have a ticket home ready before I even know about the dates. This time though, I made sure to schedule it properly. EvSem was when I met a lot of new people. I initially thought Benjhoe was really quiet since he didn’t talk much on the way to the venue. I later found out I was wrong. Super.

Since I don’t usually hang out in the Sproom, it was a first for me to really get to talk to the other speple. For someone who doesn’t talk much, it was quite a challenge for me but it turned out really well. By the time we were back in Katip, I already knew how to play Werewolf, saved the phone numbers of male speple in my phone, and, most importantly, gained a lot of new friends.

That was also the year I finally decided to run for Spofficership. After long hours of discernment, I became the next VP for Advocacy.

Fourth Year

I thought I would be good at this since I’ve headed projects before but you’ll never know until you’re actually there, juggling different aspects of the project—and of the org—all at the same time so I was really glad that I could always count on Joni to help me, saving me from my tendencies to be disorganized or to panic easily. A student’s smile or hug, and even from the volunteers are enough reasons to remind me—us, the whole Advocacy Team—to keep doing what we do and how all the panic and stress is worth it.

Senior Year was also when I started going to the Sproom during my break, getting to know not only the welcoming atmosphere of the room (despite how it’s usually full of people and other things) but also the people inside it. I got to know their stories and I told them mine as well. I learned to go past my introversion and actually talked to everyone; I even joined Sproove. It was when I really found what it meant to be a Speple, to be in a SpFamily.

Like all families, disagreements are inevitable. It could have ended on a better note but there are things you can’t control. So we just move on and learn from them.

Fifth Year

I always have this feeling that my time as a Speple has just begun. There are always new people to get to know and talk to, official events and even random bonding moments to attend. I thought it would be a quieter year this year since most of the people I know have graduated but I was wrong (again). In fact, the list of Speple that I meet just keeps growing exponentially. There’s still a lot of things to talk about and bond over. More importantly, there’s still so much we can do for our students and for the advocacy. I haven’t even been to some of our areas but I intend to do that before this year ends.

I know the clock keeps ticking—there’s only two or so months left—but my five years in SPEED has taught me that you never really stop being a Speple. Although you may have graduated, the random kulitan and bonding moments will never stop. The advocacy will still be there and I hope that graduating and being in the real world will even drive us to do more for it.

I can only imagine how it will be to see the students again in a few years’ time and realize how much they have improved yet they remain to be the sweetest and best people to give out hugs. Those who stayed would’ve taken care of the org well and then there’d be new faces who, like me, were drawn to the org in their own way. Then, it would feel like I never left.

I wrote this article for my org’s Tumblr site (Check it out here). My org, Ateneo Special Education Society, caters to persons with special needs and we do weekly visits as well as organize various advocacy and fundraising projects for our students from partner and non-partner institutions. Looking back, I don’t know how I different I would be if I didn’t join the org. I’m going to miss it once I graduate (which is, hopefully, in two months). 😦

The things I write when I’m too emotional

Standard

As a kid, I wanted to be a dentist. Then, there were times when I wanted to be a cashier just because I thought the cash register was cool. My grade school yearbook says my ambition’s “to become a journalist.” Now, I’m not really sure what I want to be anymore.

Recently, things have been tough. Really tough. I don’t know if it’ll sound conceited or obnoxious but, to be really honest about it, I’m not used to getting F’s and failing in tests. High school was just different, you know? Subjects weren’t that hard. You can easily pass–ace, even–a test without studying. You have a secure group of friends whom you’ve known since you were in kindergarten. Things weren’t as complicated. Now, I just feel useless. I don’t get the lessons anymore. It’s like I do get one part of the lesson but then, things just go hazy that my mind feels like it froze. It won’t take in new information, won’t process a thing. The F’s started coming in. Sleepless nights due to studying come unrewarded because of those horrifying red marks on the paper. Hopes get crushed.

Insert problem: I think I want to shift.

Seriously. Or not. I feel like I don’t belong in my course anymore. Do I really love Math that much? I don’t know. I’m confused. There’s that part of me that says I shouldn’t give up. Actually, my parents told me that, too, as well as other people. They said that maybe I should wait until the end of this sem and see how I really feel about it. Majors, like what they said, are always the harder subjects. But I don’t know. Yes, it is hurting my pride, giving up, but I feel like if I continue with it, the things I do might be done half-heartedly. I don’t feel like doing Math anymore. I don’t think I see myself in the field of Finance in the future. Sure, banking and stocks and all that do sound interesting but…

My passions, I guess, are writing and computers. Programming. I know I’m not that good at them but at least I always get engrossed whenever I write a short piece, an article or if I do a code for AMC class, fix up our computer at home.

BSM AMF. Why did I choose that course? Hhmm.. I thought it sounded cool. And Joel said it was a nice course. So there. I didn’t really expect that I’d get in since it was an Honors Course (top 15% of ACET takers get to be accepted in it) and that I didn’t study AT ALL for ACET (and I had to worry about the Softball championship, if we could make it back to school in time) so imagine my surprise when Joel called me up and told me I got in.

My first choice, originally, was BS(M) AMC, way back when they were offering it a year before we had the chance to apply for Ateneo. I got really interested in the whole Math + Computer thing. So, yeah, I did get disappointed when I saw that it wasn’t offered already. So I chose the course that’s closest to it (yes, it’s AMF).

I don’t know. I’ve met a lot of great people already, even if it’s just been less than two years already. I have an awesome block, who, by the way, is composed of really, REALLY smart people *coughEarlPacoDomLuigiAzyKervincough*. I’ve had so much fun and experienced a lot of new things with them so I’m more confused on whether I should really shift.

Maybe this is just one of my spur-of-the-moment thing, my impulses, my “Shift Out” phase. I guess. But, there’s also that voice that’s kind of telling me that maybe, just maybe, I’m using this as an excuse to shift, that I’ve wanted to shift all along and be in another program, that it knows how this isn’t really one of my strongest passions (although, don’t get me wrong, I do love Math, but maybe, just not as much as Paco and Earl and the rest of the Imba people in our block or in AMF in general).

I don’t know. Like what I said, I’m giving it time to cool down. I’m anticipating my guidance interview, which, I hope, would help me make up my mind. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make a decision. One I could stick with all the way to the end, until March 2014, hopefully.

I don’t want to leave Ateneo. But I don’t want to be in Ateneo doing something where my heart’s not really into, as well.

Maybe, I could Minor in Creative Writing (my ‘rents have already agreed to this) but I just need to find that one Major Degree Program. Just that one.

I don’t know. I’m still looking for answers.

Sorry for being too dramatic.

I still can’t believe the things I write sometimes, especially whenever I’m too emotional. Oh, well. I found this while “clearing” my old multiply account (which I still can’t believe how I managed to write them but, at the same time, still remember why I wrote them in the first place). Sorry for the grammatical errors. Didn’t edit it, which is ironic because I was EIC for our paper before but whatever.

Clearly, a lot of things have happened. 😉

StallingStallingStalling

Standard
Image

To do

Even with the multitude of things to do in preparation for Finals week (a.k.a The Week when I might die and/or lose my sanity), I still can’t find myself panicking or at least having the urge to finish them and get them over with before the deadline comes.

I wonder if I’m falling into a relapse, that period where I didn’t care about anything at all. There are just so many things to do that I don’t know where to start.

So I guess I should end it here and actually start doing them.

May the force be with me (and with everyone who are/will be having a loaded week ahead).

Compilation Error

Standard

Compilation Error occurs when the machine sees an error–typographical, logical, etc.–in the block of code created. This prevents the program from compiling, thus, the programmer is prompted to correct it.

I should have read the signs, really. But that happens when you think things are going fine.

On the other hand, Runtime Error happens when the machine finds out that there is something wrong with the program only after compiling it, when it is being run. This is caused when objects point to a non-existing class or object (null), or when the program produces a different result from what is expected.

This is how we learn. We break. We hurt. It is just a matter of time that I asked myself if I wanted to pursue that or not. I never passed a single long test.

***

A sorta-imitation piece I tried to do after what I think was a really cool CNF piece by a workshop mate (oh no, it’d be really embarrassing if she saw this). Not sure how to continue but I hope that was okay.